It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
