So drunk its hurt
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
