There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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