Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
