Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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