Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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