Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
