so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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