I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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