forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize