What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize