i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
