I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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