alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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