and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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