Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
