Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
