Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize