i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
