Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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