I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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