Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
