shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
