I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
