whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
