This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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