You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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