It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
