If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
