chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize