I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
