My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
