i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
