So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
