Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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