So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
