I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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