D3 body, D1 cock
That's intense
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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