I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize