sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
