Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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