it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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