I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
