help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
