I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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