I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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