woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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