I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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