i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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