In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
