toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
