my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
