he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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