Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
