This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
