Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
