he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
