no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
