redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
