And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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