mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
