i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
