I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
