im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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