And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
