Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It was a blind-side dick pic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
